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An Excerpt : A Near-Death Vision.

While advertising for my book tour. I decided to put some excerpts from my book in my event pages. I have not decided on what to read about during this tour but did decide to give the audience a picture in the book’s text. When posting about this latest excerpt, I wanted to say many are convinced that the near-death experiences are real and many are convinced they are by satan and not real. However, I think that there is a description in the Bible of a near death experience that Paul had and therefore, while many may be counterfeits, many are not. We must line all things up with the word of God and see if it holds true to what the Bible says,
Here is a brief description from my book about my experience that I call a vision. I never went to the hospital and there is no proof that I died. All I know is what I experienced, and I do believe it was from God whether in heaven or a vision while sleeping, I do not know. I was very sick, and it was very possible it was a NDE but I also think it was very possible it was a ND vision. Either way the message was transformative and life altering for me.
I was married to a man who was pretending in his salvation for the sake of a marriage but was doing unspeakable acts in the marriage. I was very sick and dying, and I had lost my mother a couple of years prior to this experience. I had no reason to want to continue. I seemed like I was going to dye anyway and I was being abused, mentally and experiencing the abuse one faces when their spouse is addicted with porn and substance abuse.
An excerpt, My Near Death Vision,
“I was extremely sick, and the doctors did not expect me to live long because the sleep apnea had gone undetected for so long that my organs were shutting down. My skin appeared yellow and I had a horrible smell to me. The smell of death was not death, but sickness. I would take my CPAP mask off at night while I was sleeping, secretly wanting to die and go be with Jesus.
One night early in the morning. I had a near-death experience, not sure what to call it, but it was life-changing. I woke in the presence of Jesus and a group of twelve men. Reminds me of the painting of the Last Supper, but Jesus was so bright, that all I saw was a bright white light with a man’s silhouette in the middle of the being. Six men were sitting on both sides of him, a total of twelve, and he was standing. There was a table of sorts. Not sure what it was. Then he told me, “You must go back.” I said, “No, I want to be with you, Jesus.” He said, “If you don’t stay with your son, Jake won’t fulfill the mission I have for him, and he needs you to stay with him”. I said, “No Lord, he will be okay.” He said, “No, he will not accomplish the noble mission I have for him.” So, I agreed to come back to earth. I was so sad and crying, that I did not want to come back. Then I asked for a hug from my mom. Jesus said, “No or you won’t go back.” I said then “Can I have a hug from you?” He said, “No, you won’t go back, and you will have the biggest fight ahead of you. You must learn to want to live”. I said, “Please promise me as soon as I have done what I am supposed to, you will bring me back.” He promised me.
However, I did not want to come back but I did it for my son. I then woke up and keep my CPAP mask on always after that until later when my sleep apnea was better for a brief time. When I woke up, I prayed, “Please Jesus, let me see what you look like. All I saw was a white bright image and I want to know what you look like. I promise not to draw a picture of you or to describe you,” and he let me see what he looked like. He did, and it startled me awake. I have since told others what he looked like, to some extent, but not the full description because I made a promise, and I don’t make promises that I won’t keep.
Since my second and third rape, I just wanted to die and be with Jesus. I spent years beating myself up for drinking and feeling I caused those rapes. I was raised that a woman out drinking and running around was asking for it. Therefore, I felt I was to blame and God was to blame. I no longer wanted to live anymore. Mix in the years of abandonment and neglect of my mom not being able to protect me from the first rape, my stepfather’s abuse, and my mom telling me I was only kept taking care of her and her children left me with a Cinderella complex. I felt doomed and trapped in a life of servitude that was not validated or reciprocated. Making someone feel like a slave and unwanted is a recipe for suicide. This led me to a life of feeling as if I was to be everyone’s slave and to accept whatever fate had for me, which is the opposite of what Jesus says.
Jesus tells us he loves us unconditionally and once we accept; that he is God and was the incarnated God that paid the price for our sins, we are no longer in the bondage of our sins. We are forgiven of our sins if we confess them and accept him as our Lord and Savior because he paid the price by dying on the cross and proving he is God by rising from the dead on the third day. He ascended to heaven with over five hundred witnesses and sits at the right hand of God the father. He always makes intercessions for us while the devil accuses us daily. We accept this and ask him to live in our hearts and become our Lord and follow him. We are then saved from a life of bondage and free to serve with a love only he can provide through God. The Holy Spirit comes and comforts us and lets us know we are loved beyond measure. It is that extreme love that I felt that made me not want to be here but be engulfed in his presence. This agape love has no description on earth and is overwhelmingly soothing and comforting and the cares of this world are gone. I felt his presence and promise every day of his protection.
Psalms 91:
“1 He that dwelleth in the secret place of the highest shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.
2 I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust.
3 Surely, he shall deliver thee from the snare of the fowler, and the noisome pestilence.
4 He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler.
5 Thou shalt not be afraid for the terror by night; nor for the arrow that flieth by day;
6 Nor for the pestilence that walketh in darkness; nor for the destruction that wasteth at noonday.
7 A thousand shall fall at thy side, and ten thousand at thy right hand; but it shall not come nigh thee.
8 Only with thine eyes shalt thou behold and see the reward of the wicked.
9 Because thou hast made the Lord, which is my refuge, even the most high, thy habitation.
10 There shall no evil befall thee, neither shall any plague come nigh thy dwelling.
11 For he shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways.
12 They shall bear thee up in their hands, lest thou dash thy foot against a stone.
13 Thou shalt tread upon the lion and adder: the young lion and the dragon shalt thou trample under feet.
14 Because he hath set his love upon me, therefore will I deliver him: I will set him on high, because he hath known my name.
15 He shall call upon me, and I will answer him: I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him and honour him.
16 With long life will I satisfy him and shew him my salvation”.
Jesus’ love and protection are all I needed in this life and I learned to live on this knowledge.
I was also told in my vision that I would have to fight to want to live and I would have to endure the hardest thing I ever had to overcome. However, I was not told what my mission was to be. All I could do was only imagine. Pray that I get it accomplished and try to live a life that would help in bringing about the mission. Since then, I have had many difficulties and divine interventions. This vision has kept me alive and going for the rest of my life.
It has been over 27 years since this happened to me and it is very clear now as much as it was when it happened. Many times I find myself still asking God, have I fulfilled my mission yet, I want to come home. The answer is always no but I have learned to see my blessings clearer and to learn more on the promises of God and less on my own understandings.
Also, I find more thankfulness in being able to be used in a mighty way for God and to see that all my troubles, turmoil, tribulations, and experiences were to glorify God not me and this gives me much satisfaction in knowing that they were not wasted tragedies. I hope my stories of my life’s journeys will continue to encourage, strengthen, and grow others in the knowledge of God’s unconditional love for them. For he truly loves us beyond measure and more than we can ever fathom.
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