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Proverbs 31 Woman

This morning, I was reading about King David in the scriptures, and I had prayed what to write about in my blog post. Well yesterday, after a night of insomnia, it appeared I had concluded I was not molded to be a good wife.
Upon waking up I realized yes, I was. I just was more focused on taking care of my mom’s family, instead of getting one for myself. Even though, I was not using an protection and ended up pregnant multiple times. Mostly by the same man that I was seeing off and on for about five years. But that is another story.
So during my reading, I realized I should write about what is a good wife according to the Bible. This leads me to Proverbs 31. I think what inspired this was both my reading this morning about David being a good servant to Saul and then what I was pondering on yesterday.
When we examine proverbs 31, we see this not only applies to women but to men. So lets take a look at what Proverbs 31says about being a good wife.

First we come to Proverbs 31 a warning to men. Proverbs 31: “3 Give not thy strength unto women, nor thy ways to that which destroyeth kings.” What I did find was a commentary from other references, 1BibleRef, ESV, 2002-2024, goes into detail, “David’s involvement with Bathsheba brought pain and misery to the rest of his life (2 Samuel 12:9–10). Ahab’s marriage to Jezebel (1 Kings 16:31) added only idolatry and corruption (1 Kings 21:7–10). Even Solomon, who recorded so much biblical wisdom, was pulled away through his weakness for women (1 Kings 11:1–4). Human history overflows with examples of kings, emperors, rulers, and politicians ruined by adultery and “weakness” for sexuality. Many others have failed due to other vices, such as greed or a lust for power.”
So this verse is more about giving too much strength of your will as a man to a woman. Being a woman myself. I thought it was important to add this verse to the Proverbs 31 woman concept. Knowing verse 3 is talking about a non Proverbs 31 woman.
Young men should strive to look for a woman of virtue as so should young women look to find good virtuous men. Therefore, Proverbs 31 actually applies to both sexes.
I was not able to carry a child, while I lived in the corruption of the sin of alcoholism and fornication. It was while I lived this lifestyle, I also worked excessively and spent an excessive amount of time devoting most of my time with working and exercising. I spent very little time with any of the men I dated. I was driven to make money to help my mom support her family.
My stepdad made good money but refused to give my mom much to feed her children. She was focused on a healthy diet. However, as she got older, she got lazy from being ill. Once he left life was a lot different. There was no around to kill the chickens anymore or help her plant a garden but that was not the life I lived.
I lived one where my mother was both a harlot and a good woman. This is an oxymoron I know. She raised me as a single mother working two jobs. So mostly I was raised by relatives and babysitters and not the same ones so with mixed ideas and thoughts. Spending most of my Sundays at a church of choice. I say most because I remember Sundays devoted to church. There was Sunday school, church, gathering and then we went home and ate and hung out with our families. Usually, I went home and hung out by myself from age six on, unless I was going to church with relatives. Then off to church in the evening for Sunday service.
I learned one way of life at church, the way it should be, and another when I was home. At home, mom drank, worked most the time, and on her weekends, she had the men. I say her weekends because as a waitress your weekends are usually different. Strange I would choose to be a waitress as a young woman but I did. Many times, I would find covering my mom up and taking the booze from her hand and putting it down and taking some puffs of her cigarette before putting it out and covering her up for bed. She was passed out by then.
I mention these things because it does seem to shed light on my life later considerably. She would also pick up Lisa, a sister with disabilities, on our weekends. This was only for three years while we lived in a couple of different places in Titusville, Florida. Lisa was in foster care waiting for an adoptive parent.
Then mom, meent Richard, the man she would spend most of the rest of her life with. The man she claimed to have married but never did. She would then go to church with us and have Dorothy and Richard from him. He is the man I refer to as my step father. I write more about my life in my Book, “Never Forsaken God Delivered Me From Hopeless Situations”
From the time she meant him until she died, she struggled to stop drinking, she became a Proverbs 31 wife. She knew how to live but as a single mom it is a hard struggle just to feed your child. As a waitress you can get your food where you work at discount but not your take home. You still need to feed, clothe, and find a babysitter. She was desperate to find a man to support her. She raised me to be both independent and dependent on a man. This mix was very confusing. Until your married you are to be independent. So I was a workaholic, tried to stay skinny because my family hated fat, and looked for a man to take care of me.
Now this is not an excuse, and I do not believe this is the right attitude. I have a grand-daughter and do not wish this life on her at all. I pray she ends up a Proverbs 31 wife without the independent streak. I believe verse 4 refers is in reference to this. Not to teach your women to be indulgent and needy.
Also, spending much time living this way caused so many problems in my life, rapes, miscarriages, heartbreaks, not finding my person ever. I also settled on the fourth man that purposed to me. I had other proposals but refused them all. The one I did take was another farmer boy in my book, Dale. However, he was not a farmer, his parents were. He was a mechanic, and I did not meet him at a bar but at another person’s house. She used to be a friend of mine. Friend, I use loosely for my true friend is Jesus. My other friends, except Angela, have all moved on and only think of me in passing. Why I say Jesus, he never leaves me.
My two aunts showed me the Proverbs 31 woman, my Aunt Viv and my Aunt Sonya. However, my Aunt Sonya always worked but not due to wanting to. I believe I may be wrong but believe she worked out of necessity because my Uncle became very messed up physically and mentally due to the Korean war that he spent, I think, about 14 years in service. He ended up with an honorable medical discharge. Both these women were instrumental in my upbringing and important to my beliefs.
Reading further on in Proverbs describes more of what a woman should be: Proverbs 31: 9 Open thy mouth, judge righteously, and plead the cause of the poor and needy.
“10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.”
This verse lets us see her value should be thought of high from her husband. She is not easy to find and she is rare and to be treated as that.

11 “The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.”
Look her husband can completely trust in her completely with all of his important needs. This is huge. This means he can trust her no matter the circumstances, how many of us can truly trust another. Look at Saul and David, David loved Saul with all his might, but Saul was sorely jealous of David to the point he wanted him killed. Why? Because he did not fully trust in David, he knew that he was not a good leader and that the people loved David and God was with David.
12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
As we see in this verse, she will not backstab him, talk ill about him, she will stand by him no matter what. How many people get to see this behavior. Many times, people marry and then talk bad or make bad jokes about their spouse. This verse tells us not to do that. To support the person through everything. Basically, be submissive to the husband or God if she is not married. So many wife’s have a problem with being submissive to their husbands and others thing it means lay down like a dog and let him do anything. It does not mean that and that is a whole other topic that could lead into a much larger blog post
13 She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.
This mean she looks for deals, is thrifty, is a good steward with what God gives her. She uses the gifts God gives her to take care of her family, and if need be goes to market with her handmade abilities.
14 She is like the merchants’ ships; she bringeth her food from afar.
She has good business sense and able to find the best deals for her family.

15 She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.
She gets up with her husband and goes to bed with husbands and feeds him a meal when he is hungry. She nourishes her husband in his needs. I failed my first husband this way. I did not get up when he would leave for the morning in the beginning and near the end I was not up when he would get home. I had a child and put my schedule around what was needed for my child. I did make him meals and take care of him at home, which is a requirement in this chapter to be a good woman.
16 She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.
Here we see she is thrifty, and well knowledge with economics. She has good business sense and will not mislead her family with what God has entrusted them with.
17 She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.
She equips herself with the Word and God strengthens her spirit, cheerfulness, and body, So basically God gives her strengthen in mind, body, and soul.
18 She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.
She studies and knows what a good deal is for her family, and she works diligently into the night to make sure her decisions are correct. This also seems
Again, she is aware of economics and able to discern a good deal and a bad deal. She would have to have a sense of business knowledge and to be aware of the scams and other deceitfulness that happens at the places of business. She does not let her resources and strength dwindle, this seems to reference business, but I think it could reference our spiritual light and to keep it always lite even in the darkest of events.

19 She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.
She works with the gifts the good Lord gives her and she is not lazy.
20 She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.
She takes care of the poor, needy, and elderly family members, and always there to help those that are less fortunate or in need.
21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.
She is prepared for whatever circumstances and weather comes her way.
22 She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.
She looks good always as a representative of her husband and the LORD. She wears the finest clothing for a budget of course no matter her economic status.
23 Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.
Making sure her light shines to bring her husband and the LORD glory.
24 She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.
She sells only the finest that she makes at the market.

25 Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.
She wears the strength and honor proudly as a representative of her husband and God.
26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.
She does not foolishly talk about nonsense things but when she does talk it is of wisdom and kindness.
27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
She is not idle and is busy with her own household.
28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.
In her behaviors and show of love for the LORD, her family and husband are able to praise her.

29 Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.
She shows her religion brightly through her words and deeds. She upholds the Bible with her words and deeds. Many do not live this way that call themselves a Christian, but the virtuous women will study to show herself knowledgeable in her actions. She will not be just a “Sunday Christian”.
30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.
In her fervent love for the Lord that is shone through her light; people will praise her.
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.
We see all of us fall short of the glory of God. I mean I don’t know of any woman who fits into this mold perfectly. We all need work to become a Proverbs 31 woman, but I think no matter what this is the woman God intends us to become like once we have accepted him as our savior. I once heard a pastor preach on this sermon and it was about how this applies to both men and women in the Lord. I do have to agree with him.
He is a great preacher, Pastor Bill Galatin of Calvary Chapel Finger Lakes. He started that church and was raised up in his knowledge by pastor, Chuck Smith of Calvary Chapel Costa Mesa, who has gone to be with the Lord. While Pastor Bill was a hippy, he repented and became a great teacher of the Word. He is retired now and only speaks occasionally. I learned a lot while attending the church he started in Farmington, NY.
I was the rebellious woman, who drank, fornicate, occasionally smoked a little pot, but did not really like pot so, it was not the sin that devoured me for years. When I married, I have totally finally surrendered my life to Jesus and was all in on becoming the Proverbs 31 woman. I still fell short in many ways and even though, I divorced, which I believe is a sin, I was forgiven and have moved on to trying to fit the role of the Proverbs 31 woman. I might achieve it by death, but I will until death keep trying to “Philippians 3:14press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. keep trying to push towards the higher calling of God.”
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